Radio XLVII, side A, track 7: “The Last Worthless Evening” by Don Henley

Don Henley - The Last Worthless EveningOh, Don Henley, this is about the closest we ever got to a country song on my radio station.  It’s too bad, too, since it played pretty much every other genre of music.  Now, I won’t lie to you, Don Henley, I was probably a little sneery about country music, just like how I looked down on my brother’s superior taste in music.  Had KISD FM played a country tune here and there, I would have totally bought into it and been country music’s biggest proponent.  And I don’t know why they didn’t.  We were in the middle of a “Fast Rappin’ Weekend”; there’s no reason we couldn’t have had a “Boot Scootin’ Boogie Weekend”.

And speaking of boots, I’m kicking myself now that I was too uppity to deign to record music off a country station.  I mean, for one thing, I LIVED in the goddamn country.  It’s not like there weren’t any country stations around.  Plus, I grew up on country music because those are the records that my parents played, like The Oak Ridge Boys and my mom’s favorite, Eddie Rabbitt.  And as much as I may have acted like I didn’t like country music, when my dad got us a satellite dish, it wasn’t MTV we were watching.  It was CMT.  Back when they played country music.  I’m way familiar with the country stars of the late ’80s and early ’90s.  Travis Tritt.  Clint Black.  Pam Tillis.  Ricky Van Shelton.  Sammy Kershaw.  Joe Diffie.  John Anderson.  Alan Jackson.  I was just as familiar with them as I was my KISD FM radio stars and my pro wrestling buddies.  If I wouldn’t have been such a pretentious asshole, we could be enjoying some “John Deere Green” and “I’d Be Better Off (In A Pine Box)” along with all the great music that I recorded off the radio.  But we’re just going to have to settle for this (awesome) one for now, Don Henley, and think about what might have been.

“The Last Worthless Evening”

<awesome Don Henley jam>

I know you broke up
With him
And ya heart’s still ooon the shelf

It’s been over two years for me
And I’m still not quite myself

And it just breaks my heart
Ta see you heeere this way

Someday I’ll get the nerve

To walk up ta you

And say

This is the last
Worthless evening
Thatchyou’ll have ta spend

Just gimme a chance
Ta show ya how

To looove again

This is the last
Worthless evening
Thatchyou’ll have ta spend

‘Cause I’ll be there

When ya broken heeeeart is on the mend

Every night it’s the same old crowd
In smoky rooms

Catch a faint glimpse of love sometimes
But it never blooms

I’ve been around this block
Time or two

I’ve made some big mistakes, but girl I promise you

I promise you

This is the last
Worthless evening
Thatchyou’ll have ta spend

Just gimme a chance

Show ya how

To looove again

This is the last
Worthless evening
Thatchyou’ll have ta speeend

‘Cause it won’t be long

‘Til ya little heeeeart is on the mend

Yeah hey hey hey hey hey
(Time, time, tickin’)
(Tickin’)
(Tickin’ awaaay)
(Time, time, tickin’)
(Tickin’)
(Tickin’)
(Time, time, tickin’)
(Tickin’)
(Tickin’ awaaay)
(Time, time, tickin’)
(Tickin’)
(Tickin’)

People inside their houses
With the shades pulled down

God knows we could use some romance
In this sleepy bedroom town

I know ya still afraid
To rush inta anythiiing

There just so many summers, babe
And just sooo many springs

Yeah

Oh, this is the last
Worthless evening
Thatchyou’ll have ta spend, babe

Just gimme a chaaance, gimme a chance
To show you looooove again

This is the last
Worthless evening
Thatcha have ta speeend

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