Radio XLIL, side A, track 4: “This One’s For The Children” by New Kids On The Block

NKOTB - This One's For The ChildrenOh, New Kids On The Block, oh my God this song is horrible.  No, this time I’m not April foolin’.  I mean, I enjoy the hell out of this song and everything, New Kids On The Block, but I can’t even listen to this one with a straight face, so I can’t imagine how you were able to sing it with a straight face.  Oh, I’m not ragging on the sentiment.  I’m a shitty human being much of the time, but even I’m not so much of an ogre as to sneer at the idea of helping children.  But could you be any more condescending, New Kids On The Block?

“This is a very serious message, so all of you, please listen.”  Oh my goodness, what message could this be?

“There are some people living in this world, they have no food to eat.  They have no place to go.”  No shit?!?!!?  When the hell did this happen?!?!  Why weren’t we told of this, New Kids On The Block?!?!?!

“Many people are happy.  Many people are sad.”  Are you #$#@$@!#& * kidding me?!?!  There can be people who are happy and ALSO people who are sad?!?!!?  What the hell are we going to do, New Kids On The Block?!?!  What the hell are we going to do?!?!?!

Sorry, New Kids On The Block, I’ll dial the sarcasm back just a little, but did a five-year-old write this (no offense to five-year-olds)?  Hey, I’m not tryin’ to darken up your day, but you can sing a song about something important without it sounding like it was written in crayon on one of those giant sheets of paper with the dotted lines that we used in kindergarten, the ones with chunks of wood pulp in it.  You can make a beautiful song about the plight of the children that has a message AND artistic merit AND sounds like it was written by somebody wearing their big boy pants.  Just ask White Lion.   Of course, you could also go too far the other way like U2 and R.E.M. and make your message impenetrable.  It’s a delicate balance, New Kids On The Block.  Obviously, I’m no music expert, but if you’re going to make a song this trite, let’s not bring the children into it, all right?  I mean, they’re our tomorrow.

“This One’s For The Children”

This a very serious message

So all of you
Please listen

<awesome NKOTB jam>

There are some people
Living in this world

They have no food ta eat
They have no place to go

But we all are God’s children
We have ta learn ta love one another

Just remember they could be us
Remember we all are brothers

I’m not tryin’

Ta darken up ya day

But help
Others in need
Show them there’s a better way

This one’s fo the children

The children of the world

This one’s fo the childreeen

May God keep them
In His throne

Oooooooooo

Many people’a happy

And many people’a sad

Some people have many things
That others can only wish they had

So for the sake of the children
Show them love’s the only way ta go

‘Cause they’re our tomorrow

And people they got to know

I’m not tryin’

Ta darken up ya day

But help
Others in need
Show them there’s a better way

This one’s fo the children (aaaahhhhhhhhh)
The children of the world (aaaahhhhhhhhh)
This one’s fo the childreeen (aaaahhhhhhhhh)
May God keep them
In His throne

This one’s fo the children (aaaahhhhhhhhh)
The children ooooof the world (aaaahhhhhhhhh)
This one’s fo the childreeen (aaaahhhhhhhhh)
May God keep them
In His throne

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4 thoughts on “Radio XLIL, side A, track 4: “This One’s For The Children” by New Kids On The Block

  1. […] Madonna, now THIS is how you do it.  You need to have a talk with New Kids On The Block on how to make a great song that has something to say and still have it be a beautiful piece of […]

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  2. […] New Kids On The Block, I owed you an apology.  I gave you guys quite a lot of shit about this song last time it showed up on my track list.  Said a lot of things about how obvious this song was and how silly it was to think that your […]

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