Radio L, side A, track 7: “Alf on Thanksgiving”

AlfOh, Gordon Shumway, is this the most dated track I’ve yet to feature on this blog?  Hard to say, but someone impersonating ALF, plus a Kim Basinger joke, plus a discussion of 2180 calories being a lot of calories. . .wow, those were the days, ALF.  I guarantee you that I’ve eaten at LEAST 2180 calories at one meal.  And went back for seconds.  In my more gluttonous days, after I’d go have a nice meal at someone’s house, I’d swing by Mickey D’s on the way home for a couple burgers.  My wife can attest to this.  She was horrified and disgusted and angry.  And yet she still married me.  Still can’t figure that one, ALF.  I do have to say, whoever did that impersonation of you was pretty damn spot-on.  I’ve always envied impressionists.  Mostly.  The problem with most impressionists is that they don’t have any actual good material beyond their voices.  Like who’s that guy?  Frank Caliendo.  AMAZING voice work.  But his stand-up act is painful.  I used to think I was amazing at voices, too.  Back in junior high, I did impressions of Zed from “Police Academy 2” (aka Bobcat Goldthwait) and Mickey Mouse and Ed Grimley and George Bush I (although really it was me impersonating Dana Carvey impersonating George Bush I).  Luckily, I don’t have any recordings of those impressions (although I’m shocked that I don’t, considering the nature of this blog), but I’m pretty sure that all of those impressions sounded exactly like me instead of the people I was supposedly impersonating.

My voice can’t reach high enough for Mickey or Zed these days, but I can do a mean Hank Hill.  And my Kermit the Frog isn’t too bad, either, although as I’m getting older, I’m realizing it’s not that I’m good at impersonating Kermit, it’s that I actually SOUND like Kermit.  Really wish my voice would have matured into a Barry White or Clint Eastwood or hell, even Sweetums or Dr. Teeth.  But I’m stuck with a frog in my throat.  See what I did there, ALF?  I kill me.

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