Radio 51, side A, track 8: “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2, #82 on The Top 90 of the ’80s

U2 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking ForOh, U2, ain’t that the truth.  Leave it to you guys to make me think about deep stuff.  As I approach 40 years of age, which is now only months away, I’m starting to do more and more thinking about “What’s it all about?”  Back when I was recording this awesome song off the radio on a (presumably) chilly night in Minnesota, I’m pretty sure that 40 years old sounded practically ancient.  It also sounded like an unbelievably long time away.  And it was.  I had over a quarter of a century before I’d hit 40, and I doubt that I ever actually really thought about turning 40, or 50, or hell, even 30 or 20.  18 was always the goal.  That’s when you were considered an adult.  It’s when you could vote, it was when you were graduating high school, it’s when the lonely, repetitive road of adolescence suddenly burst into infinite possibilities.  Of course, even at 18 I knew I wasn’t an adult, and now 18 sounds not much different than 10 or 8 or 5.  But when I was a kid, I assumed that by the time one hit an age like 40, they were considered a “grown-up”.  I mean, that was roughly the age of my parents, and for all their faults, they seemed to at least have a good idea of who they were and their place in the world.  I assumed that one figured out the meaning of live somewhere around 35-ish, and after that it was smooth sailing.  At least with self-identity.  Life still threw its various shitstorms your ways, but at least you knew who you were when the storm started.

I’m sure that’s how it is for most folks, U2.  Hell, I’ve talked to some 18-year-olds now who are more together than I’ll ever be.  I had assumed that there was going to be some kind of mental finish line where everything fell into place and you coasted through the rest of life on a cushion of self-assurance.  But as I’ve gotten older, I feel less and less sure about pretty much everything I was absolutely certain of when I was 14.  This song was a pleasant little tune when I recorded it off the radio.  Now it’s become the lead track on the soundtrack of my life.

“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”

<awesome U2 jam>

I have climbed
Highest mountain
I have run
Through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled
These city walls
These city walls

Only to be with you

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

I have kissed
Honey lips
Felt the healing in her
Finger tips
It burned like fire

This burning desire

I have spoke with the
Tongue of angels
I have held the
Hand of a devil
It was warm in the night

I was cold as a stone

Mm mm
But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

<awesome U2 jam>

I believe in the
Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will
Bleed into one
Bleed into one

But yes, I’m still runnin’

You broke the bonds and ya
Loosened chains
Carried the cross of
All my shame
All my shame

Ya know I believe it

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

But I stiiill haven’t found
What I’m lookin’ for

<awesome U2 jam>

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