Radio 53, side B, track 8: “I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany, #44 on The Top 90 of the ’80s

Tiffany - I Think We're Alone NowOh, Tiffany, when this song was big when I was a kid, all I could hear was love love love.  Now when I hear it, all I can hear is teen pregnancy.

Seriously, Tiffany, stay away from this guy.  There’s a reason that they’re telling you two to behave, and most of it is because you’re tumbling to the ground together and listening to each other’s heartbeats.  Amongst other things.

I don’t have kids, Tiffany.  And I doubt I ever will.  Part of it is because I’m too selfish and lazy to have my routine broken up by a child.  And an even bigger part is that there’s no way my anxiety could handle teenagers.  If I’d been old enough to have kids when this song came out, or when the original by the amazingly awesome Tommy James and The Shondells came out, and if I heard this song coming out of their bedroom, it would absolutely trigger a panic attack.  Frankly, I don’t know if I’d let my kids listen to anything besides Disney songs.  And even that would have to be approved on a case-by-case basis.  Honestly, Tiffany, I’m starting to understand John Lithgow in “Footloose”.  Definitely starting to get why in so many of those old fairy tales the princess is locked away in a room away from everyone.

Look, Tiffany, I would love to believe that all you guys were doing was running around and holding hands and occasionally tripping and falling.  But I remember how I felt listening to this song.  And I remember how I felt about YOU when I was listening to this song.  So no.  Can’t do the parent thing.  I mean, if I can’t even handle my kids listening to YOUR music, what the hell’s gonna happen the first time I hear them listening to Nicki Minaj?

“I Think We’re Alone Now”

<awesome Tiffany jam>

Children behaaaaave

That’s what they say when we’re together

And watch how you plaaaaay

They don’t understand and so we’re
Runnin’ just as fast as we can

Holdin’ on to one another’s hand

Tryin’ ta get away into the night and then you putcha arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say
I think we’re alone now

Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now

Beating of our hearts is the only sound

<awesome Tiffany jam>

Look at the waaaaay

We gotta hide what we’re doin’

‘Cause what would they saaaay

If they ever knew and so we
Runnin’ just as fast as we can

Holdin’ on to one another’s hand

Tryin’ ta get away into the night and then you putcha arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say
I think we’re alone now (alone nooooow)
Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now (alone noooow)
The beating of our hearts is the only sound

I think we’re alone now (alone nooooow)
Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now (alone noooow)
The beating of our hearts is the only sound

<awesome Tiffany jam>

Runnin’ just as fast as we can

Holdin’ on to one another’s hand

Tryin’ ta get away into the night and then you putcha arms around me and we tumble to the ground and then you say
I think we’re alone now

Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now

Beating of our hearts is the only sound

I think we’re alone now

Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now

The beating of our hearts is the only sound

I think we’re alone now (alone nooooow)
Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

I think we’re alone now (alone noooow)
The beating of our hearts is the only sound

I think we’re alone now (alone noooow)

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