Radio 56, side B, track 3: “Physical” by Olivia Newton-John, #4 on The Top 90 of the ’80s

Olivia Newton-John - PhysicalOh, Olivia Newton-John, to quote the wonderful George Takei:  “Oh myyy!”  Ya know, I’d never really paid attention to the lyrics until just now, and I honestly thought this really was mostly about an aerobic workout.  Well, I guess it still is, just not the kind I was thinking.  My goodness, Olivia Newton-John, you were a saucy minx!  “There’s nothing left to talk about unless it’s horizontally.”  Ummm, this sounds like the best date ever.  Sadly, even if a woman was singing this to me, I don’t know that I’d get what she was getting at, Olivia Newton-John.  It took me about 3 decades before I was able to clearly understand when a girl wanted me to kiss her, and even then, I wasn’t COMPLETELY sure.

The summer before my senior year of high school, I started dating what I would consider my first real girlfriend.  It was pretty ridiculous how storybook everything started out.  We met in Colorado at a Bible retreat and started dating that summer, it really was like something out of a movie.  Except I was absolutely terrified of kissing her.  Don’t get me wrong, Olivia Newton-John, she was immensely kissable.  And she wasn’t the first girl I’d ever kissed.  But kissing someone was a pretty big deal to me.  Hell, Olivia Newton-John, hugging someone was a pretty big deal to me.  Anything involving getting into someone’s personal space, especially if it wasn’t clear that you should be in their personal space always caused me no amount of anxiety.  I mean, I know where I get it from.  I think the first time my grandma hugged my dad was when he was about the age I am now and when it happened everyone who witnessed it was stunned.  So I don’t come from a line of handsy people.

Anyway, so we were out on our third or fourth date, and it had been about a month, and I’d yet to press my lips to hers.  We were having supper at Perkin’s Restaurant in Worthington when she pulled a G-rated version of this song on me and asked me why I hadn’t kissed her yet.  I was absolutely mortified.  For a few reasons.  For one, here was this beautiful girl calling out the fact that I hadn’t tried to kiss her.  And more importantly, obviously I could have been kissing her this whole time!  Oy vey, Olivia Newton-John.  Well, I lamely promised that I’d kiss her that night, and then we went to see “Free Willy”.  That’s not a euphemism, Olivia Newton-John.  We went to go see that movie.  And I drove her home, and we sat in my car and chatted, and even though I’d basically gotten a written invitation to kiss this wonderful young woman, I was still scared as hell.  But eventually, and I vividly remember this, I reached over, put my hand over hers, said “I’m going to kiss you now” and that’s what I did.

Of course, after that we were making out all the time, because duh.  But I honestly don’t know how many more dates we would have went on before I worked up the nerve to kiss her, Olivia Newton-John.  I don’t know if she ever listened to this song, I’m sure she had to have at some point, and maybe subliminally she took it to heart.  And for that, I can’t thank you enough.

“Physical”

<awesome Olivia Newton-John jam>

I’m sayin’ all the things that I know you’ll like
Makin’ good conversation

I gotta handle you just right

Ya know what I mean

I took you to an intimate restaurant
Then to a suggestive movie

There’s nothin’ left to talk about, ‘less it’s
Horizontally

Let’s get physical
Physical

I wanna get physical

Let’s get into physical
Let me hear ya body talk
Ya body talk, let me hear ya body talk

Let’s get physical
Physical

I wanna get physicaaaal
Let’s get into physical
Let me hear ya body talk
Ya body talk, let me hear ya body talk

I’ve been patient, I’ve been good
Tried ta keep my hands on the table

It’s gettin’ hard this holdin’ back

Ya know what I mean

I’m sure you’ll understand my point of view
We know each other mentally

Ya gotta know thatcha bringin’ out
The animal in me

Let’s get physical
Physical

I wanna get physical

Let’s get into physical
Let me hear ya body talk
Ya body talk, let me hear ya body talk

Let’s get physical
Physical

I wanna get physicaaaal
Let’s get into physical
Let me hear ya body talk
Ya body talk, let me hear ya body taaaalk

<awesome Olivia Newton-John jam>

Oh, let’s get physical
Physical

I wanna get physicaaal
Let’s get into physical
Let me hear ya body talk
Ya body talk, let me hear ya body talk

Let’s get animal
Animal

I wanna get animaaal
Let’s get into animal
Let me hear ya body talk
Ya body talk, let me hear ya body taaaaalk

<awesome Olivia Newton-John jam>

Let me hear ya body talk

Let me hear ya body talk

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2 thoughts on “Radio 56, side B, track 3: “Physical” by Olivia Newton-John, #4 on The Top 90 of the ’80s

  1. […] always wanted to meet the woman you were singing  about.  But I also didn’t want to.  Because as we’ve established, I don’t even know when I should kiss a girl, and this woman with the Bette Davis eyes is […]

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  2. […] movie I went to see with my girlfriend the summer before my senior year of high school.  You know, the one who I was afraid to kiss. . .), but some and/or all of their sequels are hit and miss.  So to find out they were making a sequel […]

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