Radio 56, side B, track 4: “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes, #3 on The Top 90 of the ’80s

Kim Carnes - Bette Davis EyesOh, Kim Carnes, so this was the first time I heard you sing this song.  But it wasn’t the first time I’d heard this song.  That’s right, Kim Carnes, this was another song that I was introduced to by Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.  Since I was only about 6 or 7 at the time I heard the Chipmunks version, I doubt that I got most if any of the references in this one.  I probably didn’t get the references at 14, either.  For example, I always thought you were singing “her hair is hollow gold” instead of “Harlow gold”, because a stalk of straw is hollow, and straw is also yellow, so I thought it meant her hair was yellow like straw.  Yeah.  I grew up on a farm.  I’m aware.  But anyway, Kim Carnes, I didn’t know who Jean Harlow or Greta Garbo or Bette Davis was when the Chipmunks sang this, and I kinda don’t know that I knew them when I recorded this song off the radio.  But I did minor in film when I was in college, and I went through a fairly long, snooty, film school phase where I voraciously watched all the classics and developed crushes on all three of those women.  Among many others.  Which is always weird since you’re developing crushes on women based on them 50-60 years previous.  But whatever, Kim Carnes, the heart wants what it wants.  From the time I first heard the Chipmunks sing their rendition all the way up to right now, when I’ve come to appreciate your jagged, throaty  beautiful voice, I’ve always wanted to meet the woman you were singing  about.  But I also didn’t want to.  Because as we’ve established, I don’t even know when I should kiss a girl, and this woman with the Bette Davis eyes is light-years beyond kissing.  Just thinking about her intimidates me.  And I kinda don’t think that she’d be impressed that I know both your version AND the Chipmunks version of this song.  But I gotta tell ya, Kim Carnes, Alvin did a pretty damn good job on this one. . .

“Bette Davis Eyes”

<awesome Kim Carnes jam>

Her hair is Harlow gold

Her lips sweet surprise

Her hands’a never cold

She’s got Bette Davis eyes
She’ll turn the music on you

You won’t have ta think twice

She’s pure as New York snow

She got Bette Davis eyes

And she’ll tease you

She’ll unease you

All the better just ta please you

She’s precocious

And she knows just what it
Takes ta make a pro blush

She got
Greta Garbo’s standoff sighs, she’s got
Bette Davis eyyyyessss

She’ll letcha take her home

It whets her appetite

She’ll lay ya on the throne

She got Bette Davis eyes, she’ll take a tumble on you

Roll ya like you were dice

Until ya come out blue

She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll expose you

When she snows you

Off ya feet with the crumbs she throws you

She’s ferocious

And she knows just what it
Takes to make a pro blush

All the boys
Think she’s a spy, she’s got
Bette Davis eyes

<awesome Kim Carnes jam>

And she’ll tease you

She’ll unease you

All the better just ta please ya

She’s precocious

And she knows just what it
Takes ta make a pro blush

All the boys
Think she’s a spy, she’s got
Bette Davis eyyyyessss

<awesome Kim Carnes jam>

She’ll tease you

She’ll unease you

Just ta please you

She’s got Bette Davis eyes

She’ll expose you

When she snows you

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