Radio 57, side B, track 10: “Telly Savalas bit”

TellyOh, Telly Savalas, somebody doing an impression of you making a joke about Zsa Zsa Gabor?  Even I recognized this little bit of “comedy” was a stinker.  But I get it.  If you’re able to do an impression of someone, regardless of who they are, you have to find an excuse to do that impression.  So I’m sure there was someone at the radio station who did that impression of you and they had to find an excuse to put it on the radio.  At the time I recorded this, I was also likely in the midst of thinking I could make a living doing impressions for a living.  I loved making up voices.  I had an ill-advised sidetrack in to puppets for awhile around this time, which just fueled my delusions of vocal grandeur.  I did impressions of Bobcat Goldthwait as Zed in the “Police Academy” movies and Ed Grimley and Mickey Mouse and Goofy and I’m sure I took a shot at your voice, too, Telly Savalas.

Luckily, I’m pretty sure there are no recordings of me doing these impressions because while I’m sure I thought I was amazing at them, I’m glad there’s no proof out there showing just how wrong I was.  These days, I still make a half-hearted attempt at doing impressions, much to my wife’s chagrin, but I will say, my co-workers enjoy my Hank Hill.  At least that’s what they tell me.  I hope that’s actually true, because one of the most awkward things in the world is listening to someone doing impressions of people that sound absolutely nothing like the people they’re trying to mimic and then having to pretend that what you just heard was amazing, feeling guilty that you’re enabling someone who clearly has no talent for mimicry.

But surely the laughs I’ve elicited through the years were genuine, right, Telly Savalas?

Dammit, Bobby.

Propane.

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