Radio 57, side B, track 12: “Bud Bowl”

bud bowlOh, Budweiser, I’m not sure why I recorded this 14-second clip, but here it is, of a caller making his prediction as to the winner of the Bud Bowl.  Spoiler alert, he picks Bud Light.  Thanks to the internet, you can actually see who won Bud Bowl II that year.  God bless all the people like me who have chosen to document things like the Bud Bowl than to do something of worth in our lives.

Anyway, Budweiser, I was actually more interested in the Bud Bowl than I was in the actual Super Bowl as a kid.  As we’ve talked about before, I had zero interest in sports, and the only reason I know anything about sports to this day is because of my brother’s encyclopedic knowledge of pretty much every sporting event known to man.

What’s mystifying to me is how you guys have enough money for ads every year at the Super Bowl.  You guys make pretty horrible beer.  Not to be a beer snob, but your beer, Coors, Michelob and those other “All-American” generic beers are pretty ridiculous in terms of their taste.  Not that anyone’s drinking Budweiser or Pabst or what-have-you for any other reason than to get buzzed, blitzed, or black-out drunk.  So good on you, Budweiser, for building an empire on what friends and I affectionately referred to as “pisswater” back in my college days.

What’s equally mystifying to me is how it was only about a century ago that it would have been illegal to have Bud Light.  Man, going to jail for drinking a Bud Light, talk about throwing an arrest away.  But now beer companies are official sponsors of all things sports-related.  Since beer is related to so many healthy lifestyles.  But what’s mystifying to me is that the nation continues to suffer from memory issues.  Like when we made drinking beer a federal crime, wasting countless amounts of money enforcing a silly law and giving some pretty reprehensible cats the ability to become all-powerful crime lords over cheap beer.  Crazy.  And yet we’ve been doing the same thing with recreational drugs.

Look, I’m no hemp fanatic, and frankly, I find those that are more than a little annoying, but let them have their drugs.  They already have them anyway.  Tax it, regulate it, let’s let some hungry entrepreneurs get some national franchises going.  The DEA can start ensuring that folks are making killer weed instead of killing people over making weed.

Sorry, Budweiser, I’m no good at having these kinds of discussions and this isn’t that kind of blog, anyway.  My point is, hopefully in another 50 years, some younger version of me will be reminiscing about a different kind of Bud Bowl and complaining about how the cheap weed companies are endorsing everything sports-related.

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