Oh, KISD FM, so we finally get to learn who was the grand prize winner of the Project Pass contest! Way to go, Amy Harrison! Winning a new Nintendo game system for getting good grades, that is really great. Of course, the reason you probably got such good grades is because you DIDN’T play Nintendo. I had a Nintendo around this time, too, and I think I played a total of 3 games. I had Mario Bros., Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Silver Surfer. I sucked at all of them. Never rescued the princess. Never got past that level with the electrified seaweed on TMNT. And Silver Surfer was never able to stay on his board when I was at the controls. My coordination is pretty wretched, KISD FM, whether it’s basketball or Resident Evil. I’ve played some co-op games with friends in the past on PS3 or some-such and all that ever happens is I either get killed or I get stuck in a corner of the room trying to figure out how to turn around. And then I get killed again, while my friends patiently (?) wait for me to catch up. My wife is actually pretty happy that I don’t play video games. I do have a Wii and another hand-me-down game player, but I got lost in Bioshock and couldn’t figure my way out and I don’t even want to talk about Goldeneye. Anyway, thanks for rewarding us nerds, KISD FM, but maybe next time let’s be a little more realistic with the prizes.
Radio 63, side A, track 7: “contest winners”