Radio 65, side B, track 1: “Cherry Pie” by Warrant

Warrant - Cherry PieOh, Warrant, I can tell that I’ve crossed a certain threshold in my age, because after listening to this song that I absolutely loved when I first heard it on the radio and listened to many, MANY times in my youth, I find that I’ve come to side with her daddy who let you know you ain’t gonna swing with her no more.  Back in the day, my reaction was “Oh, shit, that’s cray-cray, her dad walked in on you!  That’s hardcore, dude!”  Followed by a virtual high-five.  But now, while I don’t have kids of my own, I have nieces and friends with little girls, and the idea of any of them “swinging” with the likes of you when they’re old enough for such things (and let’s face it, the girl in this song was very likely not old enough for such things since she’s still living at home with her parents), I’m starting to understand gun advocates a little better.

No offense, Warrant.  Here’s the thing: it’s not NECESSARILY the fact that you were having sex with a minor all over her parents’ house.  It’s that you then wrote a song about it afterwards.  That it’s a great friggin’ song is beside the point.  Have a great rest of your day, Warrant, and I hope that if you have daughters, none of them bring home boys who are like you.  Or maybe I do.  It would serve you right.

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