Category Archives: Radio XXXVII

Radio XXXVII, side B, track 12: “Good Thing” by Fine Young Cannibals

FYC - Good ThingOh, Fine Young Cannibals, I’m going to hijack this post to talk about Martha Stewart.  It kinda ties in, Fine Young Cannibals.  Isn’t her catchphrase “It’s a good thing”?  See?  It’s relevant.  Ish.  I’ve just never understood the draw of this woman.  She has all the personality of a serial killer.  If Hannibal Lecter were female, he’d be Martha Stewart.  Those dead eyes.  That dead voice.  That smile that never conveys any warmth and instead either displays barely concealed disdain or else a secret amusement that probably involves the painfully slow death of whoever she’s smiling at.  She’s a Bond villain.  A really scary Bond villain.  Hiding in plain sight.

So what’s her appeal, Fine Young Cannibals?  I don’t mean because she went to prison.  Who cares about that, that just proves she’s plain old greedy.  I just mean how could a woman with the personality of a sociopathic ice sculpture get to be so popular?  (by the way, Fine Young Cannibals, isn’t the name of her company OmniCorp or something?  how Bond villain can you get?).  There are a lot of TV personalities that I don’t get.  Paula Deen (even before her Klan leanings were revealed).  Rachel Ray.  Everyone on “The Today Show”.  But at least with them, as unpleasant as all of them are, they’ve got personalities that don’t make you feel like you just walked through a ghost.

Usually when women become successful the sad cliche is “Who did she sleep with to get THAT job?”  But I’ve never thought that about Martha Stewart.  What I have thought is “Who did she torture and kill to get that job?”  Or “Whose child is she holding for ransom?”  Or “Who got shivved with a crocheting needle?”  I don’t even know if Martha Stewart has any relevance anymore, Fine Young Cannibals, but I want you to know that I don’t like her and I don’t trust her.  And if I turn up missing after this post goes live, you know where to look first.  Just make sure you have back-up.

“Good Thing”

<awesome FYC jam>

The one good thing

In my life

Has gone away
I don’t know why

She’s gone away
I don’t know where

Somewhere I cannot
Follow her

The one good thing didn’t stay too long (woo hoo hoo hoooo)
My back was turned
And she was gone

Good thing

Where have ya gone

(Do dooby do)
My good thing

You been gone too long (good thing)

(Do do doody do)
People say

I should forget

There’s plenty more
Don’t get upset

People say

She’s doin’ fine

Mutual friends

I see sometime

That’s nooot whaaat I waaant to hear (woo hoo hoo hoooo)
I wanna hear
She wants me near

Good thing

Where have ya gone

(Do dooby do)
My good thing

You been gone too long (good thing)

(Do do dooby do, good thing)

<awesome FYC jam>

Then one day

She came back

I was so happy that I didn’t ask

Mornin’ came
Into my room (woo hoo hoo hoooo)
Caught me dreamin’
Like a fool

Good thing
My my my my good thing
(Do dooby do)
My my my my good thing
Where have ya gone (good thing)
(Do do dooby do)
My good thing, mmmm my good thing

(Do dooby do, good thing)
Good

Where have ya gone
(Do do dooby do, good thing)
It’s been so long

Good God, good
(Do do dooby do)
Good God, good

Good God, good

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