Category Archives: Biz Markie

Radio 58, side B, track 3: “Just A Friend” by Biz Markie

Biz Markie - Just A FriendOh, Biz Markie, I wouldn’t be surprised if every high school teacher in America hated you for the simple fact that immediately after we heard this song we started singing that out-of-tune chorus at the top of our lungs at every opportunity.  This song is so amazing, Biz Markie, and even though it may be the only song I ever heard by you, you are one of my favorite artists ever.  You were so endearing to us junior high kids because you were so damn sincere.  Absolutely every guy who heard this one completely understood how one could turn a blind eye to a girl’s shortcomings when she had 9/10 pants (which at the time I thought you were rapping “nice tight pants”) and a very big bra.  Your melancholy bellow and your lyrics that included every single detail of your journey (seriously, Biz Markie, how many rappers would have taken the time to let us know that you filled out a visitor’s form and had to ask around to find dorm 3?) made you one of us, and when you saw that fella tongue-kissin’ your girl on the mouth, our heart went down south right with yours.  I love you, Biz Markie.

“Just A Friend”

Have ya ever met a girl thatcha tried ta date

But a year ta make love, she wantedjoo ta wait

Lemme tell ya a story’a my situation, I was talkin’ to this girl
From the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short mini-skirt

I just got onstage drippin’, pourin’ with sweat
I was walkin’ through the crowd
And guess who I met

I whispered in her ear, “Come to the picture booth so I can ask you some questions and see if ya
Hundred proof”
I asked her her name, she said “Blah-blah-blah”, she had
9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple’a flicks and she was enthused, I said
“How do ya like the show?”, she said, “I was very amused”
I started throwin’ bass, she started throwin’ back mid-range, but when I sprung the question
She acted kinda strange
Then when I asked, “Do ya have a man?”, she tried ta pretend, she said
“No, I don’t
I only have a friend”

Come ooon
I’m not even goin’ for it
This is what I’m goin’ sing

Yooou
You got what I neeeeeed

Butchoo say he’s just a friend
And you say he’s just a friend, oh baby, you

Got what I neeeeed

Butchoo say he’s just a friend
Butchoo say he’s just a friend, oh baby, you

Got what I neeeeeed

Butchoo say he’s just a friend
Butchoo say he’s just a friend

So I took Blah-blah’s word for it at this time, I thought just havin’ a friend couldn’t be no crime

‘Cause I have friends
And that’s a fact
Like Agnes, Agatha, Germaine, and Jacq

Forget about that, let’s go into da story
About a girl named Blah-blah-blah that adore me
So we started talkin’, getttin’ familiar
Spendin’ a lotta time
So we can build a
Relationship
Or some understanding
How it’s gonna be in the future we was plannin’
Everything sounded so dandy and sweet
I had no idea I was in for a treat
After this was established, everything was cool
The tour was over and she went back ta school
I called every day
Ta see how she was doin’, every time that I called her
It seemed somethin’ was brewin’
I called her room, a guy picked up, and then I called again, I said, “Yo, who was that?”
“Oh, he’s just a friend”

Don’t gimme that

Don’t even gimme that, ya bust this

Yooou
You got what I neeeeeed

Butchoo say he’s just a friend
And you say he’s just a friend, oh baby, you

Got what I neeeeed

Butchoo say he’s just a friend
Butchoo say he’s just a friend, oh baby, you

Got what I neeeeeed

Butchoo say he’s just a friend
Butchoo say he’s just a friend

So I came to her college on a surprise visit
Ta see my girl that was so exquisite
It was a school day
I knew she was there
The first semester of the school year

I went to a gate ta ask where was her dorm
This guy made me fill out a visitor’s form
He told me where it was
And I was on my way
Ta see my baby doll I was happy ta say

I arrived in front of the dormitory
“Yo, couldja tell me where is door three?”
They showed me where it was
For the moment
I didn’t know I was in for such an event

So I came to her room
And opened the door
Oh, snap!
Guess what I saw?

A fella tongue-kissin’ my girl in the mouth
I was so in shock my heart went down south

So please listen to the message that I send
Don’t ever talk to a girl who says she just has a friend has a friend has a friend has a friend has a friend

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