Category Archives: Real Life

Radio XXXV, side A, track 6: “Send Me An Angel” by Real Life

Real Life - Send Me An AngelOh, Real Life, there’s something appealing about a mail-order bride, isn’t there?  I’m not complaining about my marriage, Real Life, I’m just saying that back in the day, one of the reasons I loved this song was because of the idea that you could send out for an angel like you could send out for a pizza.  And growing up where I did, in the middle of nowhere, sending out for a pizza was as far out of reach as sending out for an angel.  Now, of course, I take that for granted.  In fact, I take a lot of things for granted.  I order my cat food from a computer.  I publish comic books online with friends I’ve never met from all around the world; when I was a kid, I had to mail a script to a friend, wait 4 months for him to write back with the artwork, and so on and so forth.  Hell, Real Life, before I met my wonderful wife, I was dating online, which isn’t far off from a mail-order bride.  Browse through a bunch of pictures and profiles and then pick the one you like.  So these days, you CAN kinda send for an angel.

In the waning days of my college years, one of my myriad of jobs was as a video store clerk at a now-defunct chain of video stores called Video Update.  You may remember video stores, Real Life.  They were stores full of videos that you could rent and play on a “VCR”.  And just like bars and gas stations and strip clubs, video stores have their regulars.  I met some cool people and some odd people and some downright creepy people during my clerking days.  One such person, who I eventually placed in the “overall sad” category of customers, would come in pretty regularly and try to convince me that I should save up for a Russian bride.  He was in the process of getting one himself, and he told me all about his trips to Russia and how they had mixers featuring 50 eligible Russian women all vying for his attention, and he even brought me a catalog of Russian women.

I’m not gonna lie, Real Life.  I considered it.  The idea of being able to order an exotic, beautiful woman from Russia (presumably with love) for your very own seemed like a lot easier prospect than jumping back into the dating pool, which I’d proven time and again I wasn’t particularly adept at navigating.  So yeah, I considered it.  But eventually, I decided that it seemed kinda desperate.  I mean, I get that it’s hard to find a woman, but going all the way to Russia to get one seems kinda drastic.

Looking back, I get why that guy traveled behind the Iron Curtain to find a date.  He was probably about the age I am now, and now that I think about it, some of his comments about how Russian women were so much better than American women, largely because they appreciated being dependent on a man more (his words, not mine), well, I have a feeling he had some ideas about women that pre-dated the Cold War by a few decades.   If I remember correctly, he did end up choosing a bride, and he showed her off one day when they came in to rent some movies.  She didn’t seem very happy, but he was beaming ear to ear.  I may be wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure he came in a few weeks later, pretty glum, saying she’d moved away to Michigan or something.  I guess she must have been talking to some American women or something.

Anyway, Real Life, the moral of the story is that whether it’s a Russian bride catalog or Match.com, as exciting as those pictures and descriptions of all those lovely women are, you’re not really sending for an angel.  If you’re lucky enough to meet a lady online or in real life (see what I did there?), she might be an angel sometimes, but that halo is coming off at some point, and not in the dirty way you’re thinking.  Which is just fine, Real Life, because that’s way more interesting.

“Send Me An Angel”

Do you believe
In heaven above
Do you believe in love

Don’t tell a lie, don’t be false or untrue
It all comes back to you

Open fire
On my burning heart
I’ve never been lucky in love

My defenses are down
A kiss or a frown
I can’t survive on my own

If a girl walks in and draws her name in my heart
I’ll turn and run away

Every day, we’ve all been led astray
It’s hard to be lucky in love

It gets in your eyes
It’s making you cry, don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to do
You’re looking for love calling heaven above

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now

Empty dreams can only disappoint
In a room behind your smile

But don’t give up
Don’t give up (give up, give up, give up)
You can be lucky in love

It gets in your eyes
It’s making you cry, don’t know what to do
Don’t know what to do

Looking for love calling heaven above

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now

<awesome Real Life jam>

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now

<awesome Real Life jam>

Send me an angel

Send me an angel

Right now

Right now

Right now

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