Category Archives: Roachford

Radio XXXIV, side B, track 4: “Cuddly Toy” by Roachford

Roachford - Cuddly ToyOh, Roachford, I loved loved LOVED this song when I first heard it way back when and I still love love LOVE it now.  It’s this amazing blend of Robert Palmer-ish rock with some good old James Brown-ish soul.  Honestly, if you would have just sang that chorus of “Ya gotta feel f’me, baby” over and over, I probably would have been fine with that.  Such a great song, Roachford.  And now that I’ve had some time to re-acquaint myself with it, may I also say, you are the manliest of the men.  Back when I first heard this song, I thought that the cuddly toy you were referring to was yourself, a clever, cutesy way to get a lady to look your way.  But now, having actually paid attention to the lyrics, I realize that you were actually telling the ladies that you slept with a stuffed animal and that’s why you needed some human companionship.  That’s a bold move, Roachford.  I can’t think of any other full-blooded male singer who would ever admit to sleeping with a stuffed teddy bear, much less writing a whole song about it.  I applaud you, sir.

And who knew that we were such kindred spirits, Roachford?  Because I, too, sleep with stuffed things.  Back when I was around five, around this time of year, actually, I won an Easter coloring contest put on by the Slayton pharmacy.  It was a picture of a bunny holding an Easter egg.  I remember vividly when I got the phone call telling me I won, because I answered the phone and someone was asking for ME, and then they told me I won first place in the coloring contest!  I was beyond excited.  If I remember correctly, my mom was taking a bath at the time and I burst in and hugged her and went running right back out, screaming at the top of my lungs.

That’s how I won my little stuffed rabbit, Fluff, who I slept with right up through college.  I still have him, but I don’t sleep with him anymore.  I think he’d disintegrate at this point.  He’s seen better days.  The thing about Fluff is that he’s always had a frown on his face, so even though I know he loved me in his way, I always felt like he disapproved of me.  That feeling grew as I went to college and beyond.  One of my big regrets in life is that I’ve never lived up to Fluff’s expectations.

Although there may be a clear reason for his disapproval.  See, I kinda cheated on that coloring contest, Roachford.  I wasn’t the only one who colored it.  My babysitter did, too, specifically she did this really cool design on the egg, which I think is what put it over the top.  I don’t know that I even thought about it, and I don’t know that I realized that it was going to be entered into a coloring contest, but when I nonchalantly mentioned it to my parents a few weeks after my big win, they were appalled.  But they let me keep Fluff.

I’ve done a few things that I’m ashamed of, Roachford, but I’ve never been ashamed of winning that stuffed bunny through subterfuge.  No one could have or would still love that rabbit as much as I love him.  Sure, he sits up on a shelf now next to one of my wife’s old teddy bears and frowns down at me as I eat entire frozen pizzas and don’t move from the couch for days, but I know it’s just because he sees more potential in me than I see in myself.

Now, one would think that since I’m getting close to 40 years of age, that the days of sleeping with stuffed toys are far behind me.  One would think.  But if anyone would understand that that’s not necessarily the case, it would be the guy who wrote the song “Cuddly Toy”.  Fluff is retired, but my current bedroom buddy, besides my wife and three dogs, is a stuffed Spider-man doll-pillow.  No coloring contest this time, though, Roachford.  I bought him at Target fair and square.  In fact, besides Fluff, he’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.  And luckily, since he wears a permanent mask, I’ll never have to see any judgment on his face.

Thanks for letting me talk about my cuddly toys, Roachford.

“Cuddly Toy”

<awesome Roachford jam>

Oh, I know ya heard
So many people say
I got a different girl
In every town

Oh, but there must be
Somebody tellin’ lies
And spreadin’ rumors
Spreadin’ rumors all around

‘Cause my only joy
Is a cuddly toy, waitin’ for me
When I get home, yeah

And what I need
Is a girl like you
T’call
Call my very own

So ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Yeah, ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Yeah, ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Oh, gimme some love

Well, I don’t pour out my heart like this to everyone
Not anyone
That I meet

And I know it ain’t the wine ’cause I feel just fine
Cancha see, baby, I’m still on my feet

Oh, but a cuddly toy
That’s my only joy, waitin’ for me
When I get home, yeah

And what I need
Is a girl like you
Ah, baby
Ta call my very own

So ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Yeah, ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Girl, ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Oh
Gimme some looooove

Come on, now

<awesome Roachford jam>

Oh
A cuddly toy
That’s my only joy
Waitin’ for me
When I get home, na na

And what I need
Is a girl like you
Just ta call
Call my very ooown

So ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Yeah, ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)

Ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Oh, gimme some love

Oh, first thing in the mornin’
Last thing in the night
Girl, ya gotta love me and treat me so right

Ya know ya gotta feel, uh
Come on

I tolja once
I tolja threee times
Ya know ya gotta feeel

Hey
Come on, baby
I tolja three times, I tolja five times
Ya know ya gotta feel
Feel
Feeeaaaaaaahhhhhh!
Come on, come on, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Girl, ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)

Ya gotta feel f’me, baby (feeel for me, baby)
Come on, gimme some looove

First thing in the mornin’
Last thing in the night (feeel for me, baby)
Girl, ya gotta love me
Treat me so right (feeeel for me, baby)
Come on

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